In Which I Decide I’m Not Actually A Desert Rat

Republished by request! ūüėČ I call myself a desert rat because I grew up in the Arizona Sonora Desert in southern Arizona but I’m not really. At least, not any more. I haven’t lived there for over twenty years, and my body is way way way not¬†acclimated to such a dry climate these days. As soon as I step off the plane I can almost feel my skin start to turn to powder. No matter how much water I guzzle, after a few days I develop dehydration headaches and nothing will shake them except loading up with electrolytes. No amount of water will do it by that point…I’m not sure about all the chemistry behind it but even though I feel super thirsty I can’t quench it or get rid of the headaches with out at least 16 ounces of electrolytes a day. And those drinks aren’t expensive. In… [Read More]

A Recipe That Will Make You Popular Because We All Know How Important It Is to Be Popular

Today, you are in luck because I’m giving you a recipe for this divine, delectable, delicious,¬†deliriously decadent dessert. Did you like all that alliteration? I get requests for this every time we have a potluck. If you take this to a potluck you will instantly become the most popular person there.¬†Those of us who are “popularity challenged” need all the help we can get! In the interest of full disclosure, I did not make up this recipe, and I have no idea who did, but bless you, whoever you are. More disclosure: I have not made this recently, though my husband would love me more if I did. And another disclosure: this is an updated version of a previous post so if it looks familiar…it is! (Just kidding about that husband loving me more thing.) (I hope I’m kidding.) (I’m pretty sure I’m kidding.) I apologize… [Read More]

A Story of Mr. Gray, the Water Balloon Incident, and Retrospect Part 3

Part 1, Part 2   I like to imagine Mr. Gray grading our essays in the evenings in his bachelor pad¬†over a bowl of Top Ramen. Of course he had a pad; this was the 70’s and he was a bachelor. They all had pads. I imagine him laughing over mine. I imagine him laughing so hard that he had to stop and clean up the Top Ramen that he inadvertently snorted though his nose. Thirty plus years has brought me not only a great deal of retrospect, but also a softening of the edges and a greater understanding of human nature.¬†I don’t think he was really Mr. Haw. He was just Mr. Haugh, doing a job that, perhaps, no one else wanted to do. Clearly he was stiff and strict and “by the book,” but these days I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps he was… [Read More]

A Story of Mr. Gray, the Water Balloon Incident, and Retrospect Part 2

Part 1¬†Part 3 Mr. Haugh was someone with authority over everyone, liked by no one. He was a large man, as wide as he was tall. And he was quite tall. Which made him quite wide. He had fleshy hands, droopy jowls, was mostly bald, and extremely out of shape. The poor man probably hated his job and was at high risk of cardiac arrest but we didn’t think about those things in the 9th grade.¬†We were just scared of him. He was usually scowling except for times like now, when he looked down at us past his ample nose with a grim self satisfied smirk as he turned the key in the detention hall lock. We were incarcerated. No innocence until proven guilt. Never mind that we had been caught red-handed. Never mind that the school janitor was probably, at that very moment, mopping up bucketfuls of water… [Read More]

A Story of Mr. Gray, the Water Balloon Incident, and Retrospect (Part 1)

Note: This post is a repeat of one I did on my original blog. If you have read it, thank you for still being here! I did some minor editing but the original content is pretty much intact. I do have new material in the works, but I felt that this one (and a few others that I’ll sprinkle in here and there) deserve a place on my “new and improved” blog.¬† Part 2, Part 3   Some thirty five years ago I was in 9th grade and Mr. Gray was my English teacher. He had a passion for the written word and imparted that to his students. Thus began my love affair with writing. The fact that I was also in love with the young and handsome Mr. Gray had nothing to do with it. Really. It didn’t. Well…maybe the the tiniest bit at the time, but I must… [Read More]